You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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