Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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