she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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