roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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