He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
