i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
