you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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