new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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