The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
