I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
