its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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