DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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