Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away

(440): View more from Ohio

isn't bella the cat???

(216): View more from Ohio

that she is

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(216): bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away (440): isn't bella the cat??? (216): that she is http://tfl.nu/l83t

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

don't read that magazine bro. I came in it

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(570): don't read that magazine bro. I came in it http://tfl.nu/xo8s

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry

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(484): Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry http://tfl.nu/lyzu

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?

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(808): Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet? http://tfl.nu/bi9l

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.

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(732): I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame. http://tfl.nu/b4iy

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out

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(732): Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out http://tfl.nu/au0t

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.

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(202): She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified. http://tfl.nu/adq0

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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(401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp

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(416): View more from Toronto

I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".

(416): View more from Toronto

That's about an "8" on normal scales.

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(416): I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him". (416): That's about an "8" on normal scales. http://tfl.nu/joyf

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.

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(484): future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up. http://tfl.nu/vyz8

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.

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(724): Sat down on an escalator. That hungover. http://tfl.nu/nzjv

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions

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(504): I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions http://tfl.nu/9mik

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend

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(506): my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend http://tfl.nu/ehpb

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(404): View more from Georgia

I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...

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(404): I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle... http://tfl.nu/sqj1

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.

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(860): Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on. http://tfl.nu/xowf

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