so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.