im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize