the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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