Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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