Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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