didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
