pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
