i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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