He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize