Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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