its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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