im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
