I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize