Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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