I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
