Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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