Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she peed on how many people?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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