nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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