How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
