so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Randomize
