ugly people sure do ruin things
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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