Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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