she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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