How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
