I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
