But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize