I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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