shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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