his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
