idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
