I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize