I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
