Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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