My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
