What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
