you guys were way drunker than both of me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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