We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
