I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
