Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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