I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
