on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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