Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
