how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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