I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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