They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
