I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
