Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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