hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
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