We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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