I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
