now i know why i became what i already was.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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