hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize