she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
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