WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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