the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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